Film: Audience Feedback (Teacher) for Second Draft of Film

Feedback given on second draft of short horror film - Playtime:

• Spelling errors in credits - production and starring.
• Credits are too long - get rid of names at the beginning.
• The moment before Myles ties his shoelace on the floor, they all look bored and it has no purpose. Makes it seem like they're doing anything to fill time (01:05) 
• Myles should spend a bit longer looking at the balloon. The balloon should pop before Myles get to it. 
• Need a bigger balloon and a pin to pop it. There should be somewhere underneath the tree (out of the camera frame) to make the audience jump.
• The popping of the balloon should be recorded beforehand and exaggerate it. 
• Leave identity of the clown a bit longer. 
• Editing is too quick. 
• Showing too much of the costumes (maybe just a shoe/sparking gold part of the costume).
• Faint screams, footsteps, branches breaking and ruffles in the bushes while the jack in the box plays. 
• Mica's death is too quick and the effect should be made longer. 
• Leave the identity of the clown hidden until the taxi. 
• Quick transitions.
• Hammad doesn't look scared - doesn't know where he is but the taxi somehow appears. 
• Things need to be slowed down. 
• Get rid of fighting scene in the middle of the road.